The cakey half of us here at Buttered Waffles do not live alone. There is a myriad of animals living under the same roof. Here’s a quick overview for our dear readers, so as not to be confused when I talk about them later.

The Doctor: Not just for Timelords anymore

This is the Doctor. He’s a betta fish (duh), named so because his color scheme is somewhat like Tom Baker’s trademark colorful scarf that he wears throughout his time on the show. Plus, when this fish dies and I get a new one, even though he’ll look different, I can still call him the Doctor!

I almost called him Davros because of his creepy blackened eyes, but I refrained.

The Doctor is a bit skittish, mostly because he has lived his short life so far in a small cup on the shelf of PetSmart, and now he’s in a fancy aquarium with a little fake plant, so let’s hope he becomes as friendly and engaged as betta fish can be.

Spike: Gone but not forgotten

Spike is a spider that used to live outside my office window. He’s a big one, and after some Wikipedia’ing, I found out that he is a white weaving Orb Spider. I always felt bad for the poor little guy because the cotton wood flying around in our neighborhood gets caught in his web, and every night he has to rebuild it because it is destroyed. He’s determined.

I fear he’s moved on, though, because he’s no longer here! I’m keeping an eye out for Spike on other windows of the house. I just miss looking at him through the office window, because he was so interesting to watch.

And finally, the crown jewel of the Waffle House menagerie…

Mein herr: Sachen

Sachen is a giant, beautiful, fluffy cat who came to live with us after his previous owner got married to someone who couldn’t live with cats. He’s 13 years old, as healthy as a brick wall (that metaphor makes no sense, but you get my drift), and he’s grumpy as all-get-out. This picture of him was taken trough a glass door, but is one of the few pictures of him where his eyes don’t glow like Basement Cat.

His name is Sachen because, well, the guy who had him before thought he was naming him the German word for “socks”, since he has little white socks on his paws, but actually, “socks” is “söckchen,” and “sachen” translates into English as “things.” So our cat’s name is Things. No wonder he’s so grumpy.

Needless to say, he is the love of my wife’s life and mine, and as I write this he’s trying to stand on the fancy digital camera which took that very picture you see above.

So there you have it, my friends and companions. I’m sure I’ll have some great tales of their adventures in the future.